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Deal with Your Shame
When I discovered that a family friend of mine got into her dream college that is also very prestigious, it was difficult to understand the strange mix of negative emotions I felt. I worried that she would no longer see me, someone a few years her senior and is on the surface a few years…
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Optimistic Resignation
I live my privileged life Wandering from interest to interest Connecting with anyone who can bear my strife Thinking pretentious thoughts with disinterest Like how I could help the perturbed I know it takes a lot more than me But I need my life to feel deserved So that before my last sleep I can…
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Being Extra
As our conversation goes on I feel dissatisfied, dejected Nothing dissected Not that there needs to be anything here for me I’m nobody Just a dying flame you wish to extinguish with pleasantries And you’re not anyone to me but someone to appease So why do I feel like there needs to be something? I…
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I Was Wrong About AI
I first learned that AI could be a potential issue a couple years ago when effective altruism’s career advising website 80,000 Hours listed AI safety and policy researchers and implementers as the highest impact career paths. Back then through very recently, I thought “lol, techy white guys think this is the best way to make…
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The Dilemma of Those Who Want to Use Their Careers to Do Good
Those who wish to have careers that have a positive impact on the world often consider working for nonprofits since the mission and purpose of these entities are to further social causes and provide a public benefit. But, these aspiring do-gooders are often dismayed by the low wages associated with the field. A U.S. Bureau…
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How to Make and Keep Friends as Adults
A Review of Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends by Marisa G. Franco, PhD I find it interesting how, as adults, whenever we think of friendship, we mostly think of how wholesome it is. With friendship, there usually aren’t any self-serving caveats that may come with…
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The Problem with Rationalists
I have a complicated relationship with rationality. On one hand, I believe it can help me make better choices that make sense for what I want to accomplish. On the other hand, I’m afraid of employing it so much that I lose what it means to be human. Some, though, may argue that our ability…
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Why I Wanted But Ultimately Stopped Trying to Optimize Everything
People and, in turn, our world are dominated by intuition. We listen to music and watch films that bring out certain abstract feelings in us. We spend time with people we click with for somewhat inexplicable reasons. We dedicate our careers to what feels right to us and what we care about. Intuition makes up…
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Living Life According to Your Internal Values
A few months after college I started seeing a therapist. While many of the exercises I did with her were eye-opening, the most important one was figuring out what my values are. Interestingly, this is a question people would ask of someone they’re considering to be their life partner, yet it’s something I never thought…
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How to Combat Perfectionism
Perfectionism has plagued my life for as long as I’ve had responsibilities. It’s the reason I’ve procrastinated on or at times barely completed any task I found remotely challenging and the reason I’ve felt an acute and enduring sense of shame any time I did not measure up to my arbitrarily high standards, which happens…